So I met this guy and we hit it off right away on playstation home. For me it was the feeling of falling in love. I just let myself feel wonderful with this guy and I could feel how wonderful I made him feel too. I found out that he was a kick boxer who had recently had a bad auto accident and now has pins and a plate in his leg which will stop him from doing what he does best to make his living. It seems I am attracted to guys who are hurting and am able to heal them, at least mentally for awhile. Anyway it was really nice until the other day when he was distracted and had to leave me to see another girl on playstation home. I started coming down from my high and figured I would crash like I usually do when I let myself fall in love in this virtual world. 
But this time it was different. A guy who I have been in virtual contact with for over a year showed up and told me how sorry he was for getting me upset the last time we were together. He was being mean to one of my other male friends, probably because he was jealous, and I asked him to be nice but he said no, so I left him. Now he regretted being such a jerk because he felt really bad knowing I was upset with him. It was at that point that I understood how much he cared for me and he really did ease the pain of my recent feeling of being betrayed..
The guy who left me for another girl showed up, probably because she was just playing around with him, and wanted to pick up where we left off. But my friend for over a year, who actually cared about me, was there and he went out of his way to be nice to my ex-lover. I felt very touched that he would do that for me and told him so, which made him feel wonderful. Maybe this is what love is really about.




I walk to the middle of the room with poise and turn to face you. My arms cross lightly and my hip curves outward…lovely roundness….gripping and voluptuous. Then I drop into a lotus position and close my eyes.

You drop to the ground and attempt a lazy lotus in front of me. I tickle out a laugh, but proceed to squat near to kneel and touch your head. “Straight and dignified, maybe raise it little to the air. Receive your thoughts; don’t look down on them unless you need to hide them. Relax your shoulders, no need to prepare them for battle. Unlock your posture, no…Not sloppy, just up and straight….with ease. Feel it, the inner you. It beats inside of you like a soft whisper…you feel its vibration sometimes. Do you feel it?”

As you become more relaxed in my presence and are starting to trust me as much as you are able to trust anyone, my mind opens up to you and you start to fall into it. Your body twitches as your mind leaves it behind and your essence flies through the window of my soul and we meet in an inner realm of my creation. We are both naked as I take your hand in mine and pull you down on top of me. At first you start to use me to gain some illusionary end which doesn’t exist on this plane. Then you become more aware as you realize there is nothing to win or lose here.”Be Here Now,” I whisper in your ear.


“I’ve never been this high in my entire life,” you whisper back as we merge and our consciousness expands to the point where we touch the mind of God.


Nobody stays this high for long however, and suddenly there is an explosion of white light which propels our souls back into our bodies.

Virtual Reality


Lately I’ve been hung up on my playstation home virtual reality.  Doesn’t sound like a very enlightened occupation but for me it’s fascinating.  Here is an example of what happened this morning.  This guy invited me to be with him so I joined him in a public place.  All these places are very beautiful and the avatars are out of this world realistic. Now this guy is not a Christ or Buddha but just a guy who wants to put the make on me.  That used to turn me off but now I realize how much effort these guys are willing to put out into their campaign to conquer the opposite sex and and I let him into my mind.  Lots of sweet talk about how beautiful I am which is true because we both see the beauty in each other at this point.  And there is a caring for each other and comfortable talk back and forth in his effort to know more about me.  And we are getting off and the people around us are reading our conversation and start surrounding us because everyone is so hungry to relate in a meaningful way with anyone else.  So at this point the guy doesn’t want to share me so he invites me to a private place and I say ok.

Then I start telling him how most people on play station are trying to escape reality but reality seems to find a way to find you no matter where you go.  Anyways I talk about how the experiences on play station can effect the circumstances of your real life.  He has trouble with that concept but I see clearly how his ability to relate to me can improve his real life when he gets a message from his real life boss and he tells me to wait until he is through with his real life call.  But to me, waiting for him is just a way of bringing me down rather than bringing him up so I leave him and go back to the physical reality I left behind with the hopes that it is still there where I left it.  And it always is there, welcoming me back because I have paid the price.

Non attachment


This morning I took my two dogs out into the woods for a walk and at a point deep in the woods, the dogs herded a goat to me.  I could tell the goat was lost because she came right up to me and started following me.  So the four of us walked together down the woods path until we got to the road when a truck started coming. He had to practicably come to a complete stop when he got to us because of the goat and two dogs weaving in and out in front of him.  But I waved and thanked him for waiting and he smiled at me.  Then I led the goat and dogs into a neighbors yard who got freaked when she saw a loose goat in her yard because she was afraid it would eat her flowers.  So I asked her if this was her goat or if she knew who it belonged to.  She said no and was very relived to see it follow me out of her yard.  So I took everyone back into the woods and headed back to the farm figuring this goat might be an addition to the many animals we already had.  But just before we left the woods, the goat seem to know where she was and took off into the woods on her own.  I wished her luck and thought the whole interlude was very nice.

My Puppy



   I bought this puppy, Lucy, from an Amishman about 6 months ago.  We needed a younger cattle dog to help us with the cows because our red healer dog was getting on in years and we wanted him to pass on his skills before it was too late.  So I found this 2 month old Australian Shepard-Elkhound cross who was for sale and bought her because of the Australian Shepard breeding which I knew would make a fine cattle dog.  I had never heard of an Elkhound but figured if an Amishman bothered to breed his dog with one there must be some good qualities in her.

  The first thing I noticed about my new puppy was how she would hang out around me all the time.  The red healer would be outside somewhere and would come if I called but was never a presence in my life like this dog is.  And since I hardly go anywhere where I can’t take a dog, we bonded very closely.  One day when Lucy was about 4 months old I flushed a raccoon out from under the wood pile and my healer dog started chasing it.  Well right away Lucy joined the chase and attacked the raccoon who was bigger than she was at the time.  The two dogs worried the coon to death and so I went inside and looked up elkhound on the computer.  It turns out that elkhounds are the oldest domesticated dogs in existence and had bonded to man when man was still in the hunting stage of his existence. So I realized there is a lot of history in the breeding of this dog.

  And now we go horse back riding together, bicycling, walking in the woods, and working in the fields.  She is always trying to figure out what I’m going to do next and how she can fit into it.  It’s too bad, for the most part, that we as a culture have lost this companionship with dogs.  I know everybody and their brother owns a dog, but I’m not talking about buying a dog and chaining it up all day until you get home from work and are too tired to do anything with it. I’m saying animals can be a meaningful part of anyone’s life if one can change his or her priorities around. 



girl in the rain

girl in the rain

I’ve just gotten over a very intense virtual relationship.  Mostly I don’t engage in exclusive relationships but this one sort of blind sided me.  I met this guy in the virtual play station world and we hit it off very well.  He would be around whenever I logged on and it was nice to have a break from the horny little boys I usually had to deal with on play station home. One question I always got asked was, “do you have a boy friend?”  And when I said no, then I would get hit on by the guy I was dancing with.  So one day when I got asked that question, I said yes, partly to stop getting hit on and partly because I knew this guy I liked wanted this kind of relationship.

There was however another girl in the picture who showed up a lot but kept on saying she wasn’t this guys’ girl friend.  In fact, at the start, this girl and I became very close until one day she joined a group and didn’t seem to have time for my new bf and me.  Which was fine with me and him.  But then she came back into our lives and got pissed at me and put pressure on my bf to lie to me. As far as I was concerned that was the last straw and I confronted her about it and told her if I never see her again, to have a good life.  Unfortunately my bf confronted her too but came away with the idea that she was sorry for dorking with our relationship and she wouldn’t do it again.  But from what my bf told me about her, this wasn’t the first time she put the screws to him and I was sure it wasn’t going to be the last time either.  Then he said I should let go of my hatred of her and I told him  that I didn’t hate her but was very sure I didn’t want her in my life and it seemed in order to do that we could no longer be bf and gf.  So we wouldn’t have an exclusive relationship but would still relate as friends if he wanted.

But by this time she had taken over his mind and he stopped seeing me for awhile.  I know to a certain extent I was the one taking over his mind and leading him out of the depressed state I found him in.  And we were truly happy with each other.  But I just couldn’t be intimate with a person, who for whatever reason, turns their mind over to somebody who gets off on manipulating people.  So the other day a guy friend of mine showed up who had made friends with my ex bf and this girl who had taken over his mind.  He said he had a fight with this girl and agreed with me that she is insane and wanted me to take back my ex bf because he was so sad. I wouldn’t do it because now I could see that my ex bf had turned his mind over to this guy friend and if I got intimate again with my ex, this guy would control both of us.  And so it goes in the virtual world as well as the real world, freedom at any cost.

Seed of God



At some point in my life I became aware of the seed of God deep in my being. I nurtured this seed with thoughts and actions of love and peace and truth and freedom. I protected this seed from the attacks of the world and never betrayed the integrity of it’s being.

As the years went by I discovered that most of the people around me had either sold their seed to the highest bidder or had fed it thoughts and actions motivated by fear until it withered and died.

Finally after finding out that I could not be bought or scared into submission, the world decided to erase me. But by this time the seed of God had become my main reason for being and I fought a long hard battle to protect it. Alas I was overwhelmed by superior odds and was trampled to death.

But lo and behold I found out there is no death. And when I looked inside my being to the place where the seed of God was planted, in its stead was a magnificent, radiant tree. The minions of the world attacked the tree with their machines and weapons only to find out their weapons were useless and their machines broke down. So at the end of the siege the little egos of the world took their broken toys and left.

It was then I realized I was not the trampled ego lying in the dirt but the magnificent, radiant tree with roots sunk deep in Mother Earth for sustenance. I no longer needed the world but now the world needed me.


virtual living and dancing on playstation

Continuing Saga #8

Meanwhile Fred began spending much more time in the city learning from his friend Jim, eventually making Sam the foreman of his whole operation on a modest salary, while he was away mastering the Art of the Deal. It was a Happy moment for Fred to make Sam his first fully compensated employee and as he gave him the news he was nevertheless wishing he were speaking to David, but expedience dictates you do what you must and Sam proved to be an unexpectedly competent Boss man.

Not all deals went as smooth as the first one, but as Fred began to learn the business he gained not only hands on practice and proficiency but also dedicated a portion of his profits to be invested in learning everything he would need to know, thereby ensuring his perpetual education within his chosen field. And what things he learned indeed, from basic deals to creative wonderment’s, from entity structures to tax loopholes, from mom and pop operation to corporate empire Fred would always hire the Best Professionals to teach him what he needed to know and he never forgot the things he learned.

All along Fred was maintaining correspondence with his Pen Pal David, and when things actually began to take off, David made the move out of Homestead, when at last Fred needed him to run his corporation and made an offer which was not refused.

But then that was how Fred Rolled, making offers and getting acceptance…

Back on the highway, I found the next day was the same. No ride after another 5 or 6 hours. Finally I snapped and started hitch-hiking in the opposite direction with absolutely no idea as to where I was going. Now I figured this is insanity taking me over and driving me over the edge into the abyss. Then a truck stopped and I got in and the driver asked me where I was going. That was the most difficult question anyone has ever asked me up to this point. He could see I was having trouble answering him so he told me he was going on the toll road but in the opposite direction that I was trying to go in. So I asked him if he could just get me past the toll booths so I could start hitching from the highway itself. He said sure and after paying his toll, he dropped me off on the road and I crossed over to the other side to continue my journey to find God. If a police car happened by, I would be picked up and made to pay a fine, but instead a car stopped and picked me up and brought me in the direction I wanted to be going in.

As I was riding in the car, I got to thinking that this is exactly what happened to Bobby. At some point in trying to destroy Fred and David, his intellect and ego broke down and because he was into destruction, his destructive karma came rushing into his life to cause him unspeakable pain. But when my intellect and ego broke down out on the road, my karma started creating circumstances which were in harmony with where I was taking my life. So I realized, it’s not the break down of the intellect and ego which causes the problem, but the bad karma that the intellect and ego accumulate before the break down. Then I realized that everyone goes through intellect and ego break downs with the ultimate break down being death.

The first time Fred returned to the city after his initial windfall, he was quick to visit Jim, and caught him hard at work in his office. Jim recognized Fred immediately, and although he was on the phone waved for Fred to come in and have a seat. After he finished and hung up the phone, the two sat there just smiling at each other, until Jim asked what can I do for you today Fred? Well I’m not really sure, Fred said, I’m just plum thunderstruck with your organization and now that I have a bit of capital to work with I would like to invest it in what you do…

So you just want to jump right to the top of the mountain and run with the big dogs Jim asked? Pretty much Fred replied, I realize that what I have to work with is not much considering the stakes you play with, and I may seem like a country boy come to town, but from what I have seen and heard in the short time I have known you convinces me that I would pay to be your apprentice in the hope of some day partnering with you. Very good answer Jim eventually concluded, and the two men shared a moments amusement between them, before Jim finally said tell you what I’ll do. I can see you are on fire and I will take you under my wing just to see if you have what it takes. There will be no charge for my Mentoring service and I will be happy to answer any questions you may have whenever I’m not busy, and if you would like to invest $1,000 dollars in office space I could even set you up with a desk in the corner where you can work and hang out. You won’t be my employee, because I’m going to start you out at the bottom as a subcontractor, so you’ll be working for yourself as what we in the business call a Bird-dog.

Bird-dogs are to investors what Informants are to law enforcement, they are our eyes and ears out on the street looking for the killer deal and bringing it to us. So that is where I will start you, out on the street hustling deals, except that ordinarily when the Bird-dog brings the deal they’re usually bought off cheap but I’ll cut you in for 20% of any profits from deals you bring me and I’ll walk you through all of it… Sign me up for that, Fred said whipping out the $1,000 he had begun digging for as soon as it was mentioned, and if you have the time right now I do have a few questions off the top you could address.

And so it began…

In the meantime, I find myself still hitch-hiking down the road. My perception of reality has narrowed down to getting a ride from the next car that comes by. The road I’m presently on, however, is a back road that doesn’t see much traffic. And so my intellect asks me what I am going to do if I never get a ride? And I have no answer and feel the fear entering my consciousness and taking over my being. So I stop thumbing and lean against a near by tree to try to over come the fear that is starting to animate my thinking. I find myself taking off my back pack and falling to the ground in a lotus position, while my mind turns inward and leaves the problems of the highway behind. Deeper and deeper I go, looking for the truth. My intellect and ego conjure up images of death but the person who I really am keeps falling knowing there is no sudden stop at the bottom of this hole I’m falling into. Then suddenly God reaches out His hand and stops my fall by turning the lie I couldn’t live with into truth.

I open my eyes to see a car stopped directing in front of me and a man coming over to me asking me if everything is alright. He explains that he is a minister and is concerned about finding someone out here in the middle of nowhere and was wondering if he could help in any way. So I picked up my back pack and followed him back to his vehicle with a new awareness of the power that lies within.

As Fred set to work with his new friend and Mentor Jim, he had learned some interesting and valuable things, however it was tending to his primary duties which were his main concern. Fred had begun learning from Jim from the moment he had met him, although Jim was just being himself and not trying to teach anything, it seemed to Fred that every word Jim uttered open his eyes to a vast new worlds and he just had to keep him talking in order to see more. But Jim had set him to the task of sniffing out deals and laid out some groundwork so Fred hit the street. He had a few ideals in mind like finding the worst house in the best neighborhoods, multi-unit rentals at a good price, and generally any distressed homeowner especially for sale by owner. He knew that in order to bring a deal to Jim he would have to get in at rock bottom price to ensure profit for both of them, it was here that the now famous Low-ball Fred was born, as he would later be known for saying “throw a low ball at it and see what happens”…

As Fred began knocking on doors and making phone calls, it wasn’t long before his interpersonal skills began to flourish from interacting with the various homeowners, and although he felt somewhat ashamed making ridiculously low offers and walking away he nevertheless managed to help them in some way if he could because that was his mission. Like Jim had told him, it’s a numbers game, and sure enough he finally came across a motivated seller willing to bargain and took the deal to Jim. After studying the numbers Jim accepted it and his first deal was in the works.

As Fred studied his mentor Jim, what impressed him most was that Jim really didn’t do anything, he just shows up and says some things and everyone else gets busy. This was the system Jim had in place which Fred had been admiring all along, and once Fred had mastered that system, it laid the groundwork for the Corporate Revolution which was to follow. But at this point Fred had just made good on his first deal and was hungry for another…

I’ve been hitch hiking for over a week now and was closing in on Florida when a police car pulls up along side of me. The police officer gets out and tells me to sit in the back of his cruiser. Since its’ been drizzling for most of the day and I was getting cold, I wasn’t all that unhappy about accommodating him. So as I was sitting there I couldn’t help but enjoy the fact that I was warm and dry for the first time that day since I had spent the day thumbing in the cold and the rain. I knew I should be thinking about all the bad things that could happen to me but I just couldn’t get past the fact of feeling good about being out of the whether, so when he returned to the cruiser I was in a pretty good mood, considering. He got back in the front seat and asked if I knew it was illegal to hitch hike on this highway. I told him I wasn’t aware of that fact, so he started asking me questions to find out who he was dealing with. Unfortunately for him who I am is mostly God in a box called sue and I knew it wouldn’t be long before he was looking into the smiling face of God.

He asked me where I lived and I pointed to the back pack leaning against a sign post where I had left it. Then he asked where I came from and I told him I was working on a dairy farm in Pennsylvania with a boy friend who owned the farm. Then he wanted to know where I was going and I told him I was going to Florida to pick oranges. He wanted to know who I knew in Florida and I said nobody. So he got all upset and said he could take me to jail for vagrancy and I said that’s cool, Florida can wait.

Then the whole victim, victimizing mind set stopped and he calmed down and said in kind of a defeated voice that he was going to give me a ticket for illegal hitch hiking but when I got to Florida I should pay it to avoid a lot of trouble. So I said sure and he let me go.

As I went back to my back pack and put it on, I smiled as I remembered what my girl friend said to me when I told her I was going to hitch hike across the country. She asked if I wasn’t afraid of getting raped. And I replied,”you can’t rape the willing.”

Continuing Saga #7


With a Giggle of Glee Fred Chuckled, yes Siree Babe you are a quick study indeed, and as right and perfect as everything you have just said is there is even more to it as things get more in-depth. For instance, the Real Secret of Power is not in the attachment itself but in steering the attachments by Radically Original Intention. You SEE attachments are like tools and each is specific to a certain function which is why you don’t use 10 Millimeter wrenches to remove 1/4 inch bolts. The PROBLEM is not so much the Tool itself as it’s ability to Adapt to the Application, but the more better tool or adapted Modified tool is still an Attachment because those are the TOOLS. And not only that but having attachments is actually irrelevant, because what is really important is Unwillingness to let them go. Here is the LAW: Only those attachments you refuse to let go of; Will be REQUIRED of You.

You see if you refuse to let go of an Attachment then you will be required to Give-a-phuck about it, but if you are Willing to let go of an attachment then you can keep it of your own right without Requirement. This is just so simple, instead of working on attachments you Gage your Willingness instead, and all you have to do is DROP Whatever it is knowing that you can Pick it up again any time you desire because it IS Your Attachment and if it is really STUCK it will be back again or once you Drop it you have Symbolically Served Requirements and can pick it up again Immediately because Willingness is the “PROOF.” Up until NOW I have been trying to be my Best version of You, and this is what has allowed Kent to remain in power over “Our Relationship” and keep us both down, but to change that radical steps will be necessary and we may be fighting the clock to keep up so we best get started soon whatever it is. So let us WORK on our Willingness to let go of ALL Attachments because only when we are “Willing” to Drop the Load will our Grip Release for DESIRED Effect…

You know that I Love You more than words can say because it is more than Life itself, and as you have always Known I am a Man of Vision, and until now I have never shared with you my sights and sounds of worlds to come because it requires your full fledged support and undivided attention and I must say that until now you have been rather distracted as of late. There are worlds to conquer and domains to explore which you have never even dared dream about, but I have been saving every bit of it all along from day ONE and might I mention that your Bank Account with God is NOT a problem!!!

We are in this world for more than just pursuing our personal desires, even though that is a part of it, nevertheless the world itself is defective simply because our species suffers from an ignorance which is destroying us. Just as this current Shit-storm is devastating to the principles involved, namely Bobby, yourself, Kent and I, it is still indicative of acceptability within the current world system because self-destruction is always disguised as judgment of another. As much as we might like to fix our condition from within the system, I can’t seem to pull it off because the fix would just be another form of defect being a part of the defective system with an upgrade, what we need is an entirely New System which works within the defective system. That is why I can’t do this without you Babe, because I’m here to make your dreams come true and when you want my dream then things will really take off as we can Learn to FLY. 

Like you said my Love, nothing of this world seems to phase me, but in truth it has been a gut wrenching journey of agonizing torment for me all along as I have had to stand by powerless to interfere with the play of choices and outcome of events until now other than to struggle along in the midst of it with everyone else, because I could not share the things which lie hidden within me as I have Viewed the Truth in this Life. But some day I knew the egg would crack and contents come spilling out and the time has at last arrived to make our commitment to a Revolution of the Soul from 2 into 1 as the ONE who is One in All…

As they drove along Sue seemed lost in contemplation and at last she said, well I don’t know exactly what it is you expect of me, but I will try to be what you desire. Although honestly I don’t know how I will be able to concentrate on anything until Bobby has been removed from Kent’s influence and our family is made whole again. Well that’s a start Fred said, and I was hoping we could get deeper into these things and begin to work through them, but no more at a time than you are ready for I suppose, and when the time is right I’m sure it will all work out. Except for some sporadic conversation about nonsensical subjects, the rest of the ride home that evening was silent, as each spent the mileszzz doing their own brand of soul searching and contemplating what the future may hold…

So meanwhile back at the farm there is more bad news. It seems David, our Amish helper, has decided to leave the area because his family is leaving. Fred is devastated by Davids’ emanate departure because he has come to love David as a son. And so Fred finds that he too is vulnerable to the pain of lost love as well as the fact that the world will work him to death with David not here to help him.

I also was having my problems. A new Amish family had moved into the community about a year ago and I got very close to this Amishmans’ wife, Anna, but I could sense her husband ,Sam, was evil. When he learned that David was leaving, he wanted to take his place working and living on our farm. But it was a terrifying idea for me to even contemplate. He started putting pressure on me to talk to Fred and get him to agree but I would stand firm against him to the point where I broke down and cried a couple of times.

Then I found out that Anna had cancer and her husband Sam was taking her to Mexico for radiation treatments. Sam didn’t want to stay away too long so he told the Mexican doctor to speed up the radiation treatments on his wife. Well the result was that Anna got fried. She came back in great pain but wouldn’t have anything to do with doctors or hospitals again. I remember the night she died, two houses down from us and I went into a trance like state.

In that state Anna came to me and I was so happy to see her. I told her I was afraid that her husband Sam would do me in next and she said to me, “Don’t worry, my dear, the battle was fought and won by me with my death. The monster that my husband used to be is no longer a threat to you. All that remains to overcome is your own fear.”

And the next morning when I woke up I felt things were going to be alright.

Up bright and early to be ready for work at the crack of dawn as was his custom, Fred arose one morning with an unusual lightness and expectant feeling like he had just been let out of a cage. As he rehearsed in his mind all the duties he would attend to during the day to keep his Milk business afloat, and even though his meeting with the Bankers was a dark cloud on the horizon he Knew it would somehow be profitable regardless of how it worked out. So in a slow leisurely way, he took time to Enjoy the morning routine savoring it with Loving Appreciation before getting to work on the administrative necessities of expanding his Vision and then leaving Sue in charge of the operation, long enough to give him a little dink around time before he had to drive to the City. With a loving kiss Sue wished him well as Fred rolled away on appointment with Bankers.

In the “great Bank meeting” Fred was amazed that they said NO, and not only that but was outraged to hear that they intended to foreclose on one asset and take away all the rest of them as well because he was “Personally Responsible” for the whole thing. Fred showed up with grand visions in his head needing the funds to purchase an Industrial complex so he could “Centralize” all his scattered herds on different farms, but what he got instead from the Bankers was “Show Us the Money” or we are taking it all away… So of course, leaving the meeting Fred was quite befuddled as he could see no way out, the bankers numbers had him by the balls and unless he liquidated and started all over to pay them they would just take it all instead. Pesky Bankers Fred muttered as the dark cloud he had seen coming began to settle in on him, and as he left the Bank he just kept walking wherever his feet wanted to go as he contemplated the whole dilemma and let it all sink in. As he wandered the streets of the city, Fred was in his own little world, until finally he rolled the Care of Everything over on God and stopping on the sidewalk with a sudden sense of Freedom and Liberty declared “Fuck them Bankers” and standing there bathed himself in JOY as he suddenly began taking in the sights and sounds of the world around him.

The first thing he heard was some guy saying my property is such a burden I would be willing to give it away, and suddenly quite interested Fred stepped up and said I’ll take it. Very good my friend here you go said the man as he whipped out a Quite-claim Deed saying it’s your problem now. With a little due diligence Fred was inspecting the property in no time, and it was actually a nice home in a good neighborhood. As Fred was driving away wondering what to do next he drove by a light-pole with a sign attached which said We Buy Real Estate. So Fred stopped and got the number, found himself a phone, and called the guy. Let me see what you’ve got the man said, and meeting him back at the property agreed to pay $25,000 Dollars for it thinking he was getting a great deal. This was the day Fred met his Big-city Friend Jim, whom was a Real Estate Broker/Investor who changed the Game down on the Farm through their relationship together, so that Fred was cashing his Bankers Check before close of business that day.

As Fred was driving home that night from the city, he had 2 things $25,000 and a Fuck the Bankers attitude, he had gleaned some things from Jim and come to the realization that Bankers should be working for him and not the other way around. This is when he formulated his Fuck the Bankers scheme where he would maneuver his bankers into settling at a discount while under corporate Entity he built a Real estate Empire to Fund his Industrial Milking Operation the Bankers had said no on…

I might like to go back to the City tomorrow Fred was saying to himself… 

When Fred got home that night I told him how I was thinking about our talk on non-attachment and I came to the conclusion that the only way I could emotionally un-attach myself would be to physically let everything go and walk down the road alone until I could re-enter the game with less attachment. Fred was not happy with the fact that we would be separated, for awhile anyway, with no guarantees about anything. But he did agree that I was certainly on the spiritual path and I would find out for sure the nature of reality.

With Fred trying to find himself in the business world and Bobby trying to escape the demons of his life, I felt I needed to confront my fears of the unknown and over come them. Being out on the road thumbing alone is just about the scariest thing I could imagine. But if what I believed was true, we make our own reality, than I could make it just as well out on the road as I could staying on the farm.

And so after making love to Fred like there was no tomorrow and packing a back pack with what I hoped would see me through my trip, I headed down the road in the direction of Florida, to pick oranges for the winter. It wasn’t the greatest idea I ever had but it came from a place inside me where I needed to balance out the pain I was feeling on the inside with an equal amount of pain on the outside. From what I heard, picking oranges would do the trick.

So I started hitch-hiking and since I’m a girl and kind of cute in an outdoorsy sort of way, I got enough rides that day to make me feel I was getting somewhere. But it was getting late and the last driver to pick me up asked if I had a place to stay for the night. I told him I had a tent which I could pitch just about anywhere. But he insisted I come home with him and eat something and then he would take me to a beautiful beach where I could pitch my tent. Of course I was scared, but figured my life was in the hands of God at this point so I agreed. So true to his word I found myself in his house, just me and him, eating a meal. I wasn’t really afraid of him or what he might do to me. I’m really good at picking up where people are at and he was just a normal guy. But to my surprise, I found myself very upset because I was lost. I didn’t know how to get back to the main highway and it was freaking me out. I really couldn’t tell if this guy was going to bring me back to the highway again or not. But he did bring me to the beach as promised, and it was a beautiful site to pitch my tent. I finally got rid of my fear of being lost by realizing my destination of picking fruit was pretty flimsy at best, so I decided I would rethink my destination in the morning if he didn’t show up and bring me to where I could continue my trip.

He did show up the next morning and took me to the entrance of the toll road I needed to take in order to get to the orchards I was traveling to. Unfortunately, they didn’t allow hitch-hikers on the toll road so I had to try to hitch a ride in front of the toll booth where people had to pay to enter this highway. I was standing in back of a sign where someone had spray painted the words,” No rides out of hell hole.” At first I thought it was amusing but after about 5 hours of thumbing, with night time setting in, I understood exactly what the author of this message was telling me. I found some bushes near by and pitched my tent and hoped for better luck in the morning.